


Harry Potter and the Addams Family

by CelestialSeaWitch



Category: Addams Family - All Media Types, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Crossover, F/M, Facebook: Harmony & Co., Long Shot, One Shot, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-20
Updated: 2020-11-20
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:01:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27647882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CelestialSeaWitch/pseuds/CelestialSeaWitch
Summary: Harry is adopted by the Addams family. This is their story.
Relationships: Gomez Addams/Morticia Addams, Hermione Granger/Harry Potter
Comments: 69
Kudos: 459
Collections: Harmony, Harry Potter Addams Family Crossovers





	Harry Potter and the Addams Family

Harry Potter and the Addams Family

They were not searching for a baby. Gomez and Morticia Addams had two lovely children, Wednesday Addams and Pugsley Addams. They were not, in any way, searching for a baby. Gomez had taken Morticia with him to England on another wild business venture that Gomez was certain would work in their favour -- after all, they always did. It was there, in England, on a random street in a terrifying neighbourhood filled with green grass and matching homes, that they saw him.

Harry Potter was a thin little boy in truly dreadful clothing. What parent would ever clothe their child in such rags, Gomez had thought in horror. It was to be expected, he supposed, in such a terrible neighbourhood. The women all wore pink and frills. Perhaps this was a community for the insane?

Normally, Gomez didn’t stick his nose up at the way others lived. People were perfectly capable of making their own decisions and imposing one’s own views on others was just uncalled for. But when it came to children, Gomez was unable to hold back his judgement.

Parents should treat their children with more love and respect. 

Gomez had figured a talking-to was in order for the parents and perhaps a visit from old Grandmama Addams when they got back. She would love nothing more than return to England to disabuse some muggles of their self-importance over the care of a child. Grandmama Addams’ family had originally come from England but moved to America when pure-bloods began to pretend to be  _ light wizards _ . 

He and Morticia continued on their way, sniffing at the terrible muggle woman as she dragged the boy inside by his ear. Yes, Gomez had thought, he would certainly send his bloodthirsty mother in their direction. But such a decision was taken out of his hands when he came home from an investment meeting the next day.

Loud, childish squeals emitted from the hotel’s bathroom. Gomez quirked an eyebrow curiously. He tossed the spiked flail-end he’d bought at auction earlier as he went to the open door and leaned against the frame. He smiled in amusement at what he saw. The little boy was in a bubble bath, squealing with delight while Morticia scrubbed him clean. 

“Well, look at that,” Gomez laughed with a wide smile. “How’d you get him away from the muggles?”

Morticia smiled pleasantly. “Muggles are so susceptible to magic. The British Ministry really ought to have better enchantments set up to make sure nothing happens to them.”

Gomez raised an eyebrow. “ _ Did _ something happen to them?” He tossed the heavy metal spiked ball in his hand.

“Would you object?” a steely tone entered Morticia’s voice.

He smiled broadly again. “Not at all! I’d just like to know if we have to rush out of here or not.”

Morticia’s smile eased. “No one will ever know -- until it’s too late, that is.”

“Brilliant! Wednesday and Pugsley will be overjoyed!”

Morticia turned back to the boy with a pleased smirk. “Are you excited to meet your family, Harry?”

“Ye!” Harry announced as he raised his hands high. He slapped them down into the water and splashed Morticia who held back a huff. She looked more amused than irritated. 

Gomez laughed loudly. “Catch, Har!” He tossed the baby the spiked metal ball and it froze an inch from the baby’s face. It dropped to the bottom of the bathtub with a  _ clink _ . “He’s magical!” Gomez cried out in delighted shock.

“Thankfully,” Morticia drawled. She drew Harry into her chest. “Careful with your toys, Gomez. He’s still just a baby.”

“Nonsense! I was playing with flails while I was in the crib!”

Morticia smiled sweetly.

\/

“Did you kill them?” Wednesday asked with a straight face. “The awful muggles? Did you torture them?”

Morticia smiled at her daughter from her position in her large-back wicker seat. “I’ll tell you all about it when you’re older, darling.” 

Wednesday pursed her lips at that. She clearly thought she was already old enough to know. The young girl crossed her arms over her chest. “How long will it take Grandmama Addams to cure him with her potions?”

“Not long at all!” Gomez responded as he skipped into the room, his pipe in hand. He winked at his two children that stood before their mother’s seat. “Grandmama is a miracle worker with potions, as you both know!” He nodded at Pugsley, who’d been healed by his grandmother more times than anyone in the house could count. 

Wednesday turned to her younger brother with an evil smirk. “Perhaps we should see if she can heal  _ two _ boys at once?” She turned and disappeared into the mansion before Pugsley could respond. 

The chubby boy pouted as he followed his sister. “Alright, but no electrocution this time. I didn’t taste food for weeks after that last time!”

Morticia smiled happily as she looked up at her husband. “I do love it when the children get along so well. Harry will fit in so perfectly with the other two.  _ Nous avons une belle famille _ .”

“ _ Cara mia _ ,” Gomez gasped as he fell to his knee beside her. “You know what it does to me when you speak like that.” He took her hand in his and raised it to his mouth. He pressed a heated kiss to the back of her hand.

Morticia’s lashes fluttered. “ _ Monsieur _ ,” she teased. Gomez groaned and kissed his way up her arm. “ _ Mon amour _ …  _ Mon beau mari _ .” Gomez pulled his wife into his embrace and kissed her passionately. 

A low groan interrupted them.

Gomez sprang back from his wife and wiped her lipstick from his mouth. “Lurch! What’s wrong?”

Lurch groaned intelligibly. 

Morticia’s eyes widened as she gasped. “The children.” She and her husband raced from the room. They found Wednesday and Pugsley in the second-floor corridor. “Children! What’s happened?” 

“The python’s gone!” Pugsley shouted.

Gomez’s eyes widened. “Python? What python?”

Wednesday raised an eyebrow, unperturbed. “The one I was going to try to have Pugsley get eaten by.”

Gomez laughed shortly. “Creative! I like it.” Wednesday nodded once. 

A loud  _ hissing _ interrupted their discussion. Morticia’s eyes widened. “That’s the nursery!” She moved to enter, but Gomez caught her arm.

“Careful,  _ cara mia _ . I’ll go first. Lurch!” he shouted. “My sword!” The sword was thrown down the hall. Gomez caught it by the hilt and laughed. “Excellent! Once more, unto the bridge!” He raised the sword high before dashing into the nursery.

The sight that greeted the Addams family was wholly unexpected. Baby Harry was in his crib with a massive python. The snake’s body was draped over the edges of the crib and filled the bed. Its head was raised near Harry’s and the two  _ hissed _ back and forth. 

Gomez stuck the end of the sword into the floor and leaned on the hilt. “Well,” he said, at a loss for words.

Morticia smiled proudly. “I told you he’d fit right in.”

\/

“I want to go to Hogwarts,” Harry told his father seriously. 

Gomez eyed his son from behind his desk. He was polishing an antique pistol. “Your siblings go to Ilvermorny.”

Harry nodded once. He stood tall and stiffly in dress trousers and a waistcoat. He had a bright green ascot around his neck. He preferred ascots unlike his father and had been wearing them ever since he’d turned four. “I know, father. But Hogwarts is likely where my parents went.”

“We don’t know for certain they were magical,” Gomez shot down.

Harry frowned at him. “Grandmama Addams told me I had a Horcrux in my head when I was a baby.” 

Gomez scowled. That wasn’t information Harry needed to have at ten. “She shouldn’t have. That sort of magic is dangerous and I’ve been practising the black arts since I was in diapers!”

Harry sighed. “Hogwarts is supposed to be a great school.”

Gomez narrowed his eyes. “Alright.” He jumped to his feet and picked up his sword. “We’ll duel over it.”

Harry narrowed his eyes as well. “Deal.” While Gomez had been sword-fighting for far longer, Harry was a natural at every sport that had been set before him since joining the Addams family. Harry chose his own weapon.

“ _ En garde _ !” Gomez cried before he lunged forward. Harry parried seamlessly. His father laughed loudly. “Fantastic, Harry! Let’s see what you’ve got!” He lunged forward again and Harry dodged to the side. The two parried back and forth, giving and taking an equal amount of ground. 

“Why Hogwarts, Harry?” Gomez asked as their swords clashed into an x. He leaned forward as he pressed against Harry’s sword with his own. His dark eyes pinned his youngest son with an intense stare. “What’s the real reason?”

“My parents!” Harry shouted and threw Gomez off his sword. They parried back and forth again.

“No!” Gomez shouted. He hopped up onto the coffee table and jumped off, coming down at Harry with all his weight behind his sword. Harry flung himself out of the way. “That’s not the real reason!”

Harry jumped up and spun toward his father. Gomez had a manic grin on his face. Sweat had plastered Harry’s hair to his forehead. He was breathing heavily. 

“Come on!” Gomez shouted. He raised his arms. “Attack me! You want to go to Hogwarts? Take it!”

Harry roared as he attacked his father. Their swords  _ clanged _ loudly. 

“That’s it!” Gomez encouraged. “Now, tell me! What’s at Hogwarts?”

“Voldemort!” Harry shouted. Gomez came to a stop. Harry’s sword dropped from his hand. “He’s still alive. He must be and I - I want to kill him. I want to kill him for all he’s done.” Harry’s shoulders shook as his eyes teared.

Gomez grinned. He nodded his head. “Alright, Hogwarts it is.” Harry looked up with wide green eyes. “You’re taking extra lessons with Grandmama Addams first and  _ several _ lessons with your mother. If you want to have a shot at killing Voldemort, you won’t be able to do it without her tutoring.”

A broad smile stretched across Harry’s face.

\/

Hogwarts was a silly place. That’s the first thing Harry learned while there. Most of the professors were competent, but there were a few that were ridiculous. A ghost teaching history that he hadn’t lived through and had no connection to was rather ridiculous. A potions professor who was a dark wizard actually made sense, too bad he was rather incompetent. If Grandmama Addams could see this oily man trying to teach students by not talking to them unless shouting, she’d have him strung up by his toes. The worst was the defence professor. Not only did he reek of the  _ foulest _ magic that Harry had ever been exposed to -- and that was saying something -- he was also as skittish as a kitten.

Hermione told him he had to respect his professors regardless of his derisive thoughts, but Harry figured her attitude stemmed from extremely strict parents that didn’t let her think for herself. She was the first person he’d met on the train and his best friend, certainly -- but she was also fairly brainwashed into thinking that adults could do no wrong. He was working on disabusing her of that notion. 

Everything else about Hogwarts was proving just as silly. People took the schoolhouse thing way too far, for instance. The headmaster almost had Harry resorted when he ended up in Ravenclaw. Hermione had been overjoyed since he’d convinced her on the train that it was the  _ best _ house. The Gryffindors and Slytherins constantly fought. Harry wanted to suggest they take up honour duels again. At least it would cut down the population of idiots in the school by half, at least.

The most interesting parts about Hogwarts were probably the things that weren’t meant to happen though. Killing a mountain troll, his defence professor, and nicking the Philosopher’s Stone were certainly at the top of that list. Dumbledore thought the stone had been destroyed. As if Harry would ever give up a priceless artifact like  _ that _ . His parents would be overjoyed at the sight of it. And they were.

“I killed a mountain troll on Halloween!” he told them excitedly his first night back.

Wednesday huffed. “I never get to have fun.” She turned her head to Pugsley. “We’re going mountain troll hunting.” Pugsley nodded once in agreement. He turned to Harry who chuckled and nodded as well. 

Gomez laughed uproariously. “Brilliant! We’ll put the head above the fireplace.”

Morticia smiled. “That sounds perfect ghastly, Gomez dear.”

\/

Harry’s second year was just as exciting. Dragging Hermione and Luna all over the school in search of a giant snake had been thrilling. It’d been too long since he’d hunted a basilisk. 

“Polyjuice!” Grandmama Addams exclaimed when she met Hermione over the summer following their second year. “I haven’t met a single soul who could brew that at your age, let alone so perfectly.” She grabbed Hermione’s arm and the two disappeared into the kitchen for no less than four days. When Hermione emerged again, her curls were a wild mess and her brown eyes were bright and glittering.

“I love it here!” she shouted at Harry. She threw her arms around his neck in a tight hug. 

Harry huffed out a laugh. “I thought you might.” He patted her back until she finally released him. “Come on, now that you’re finally free from Grandmama’s clutches, you can meet my siblings. They just came home from Ilvermorny.” 

Wednesday and Hermione immediately clicked. They shared a vicious side to them that Harry appreciated wholeheartedly. They were both intelligent and bloodthirsty for vengeance. “They’re basically slaves!” Hermione had ranted when they’d gotten on the topic of house-elves. “They ought to be freed!”

Wednesday leaned forward over the massive book that sat between the girls. “We should create a curse that  _ kills _ any witch or wizard that abuses a house-elf.”

Hermione gasped. “That’s perfect!”

Wednesday jumped to her feet. “Mother knows all the best spells.” The two girls raced off deeper into the mansion.

Harry raised his eyebrows and turned to his father. “That’s going to be interesting.”

Gomez smiled as he nodded knowingly. “The women in our family always are.” He clapped Harry on the back. “Tell me about the diary.”

“It was another Horcrux,” Harry confirmed as they headed outside into the misty graveyard for a nighttime stroll. “It was made when he was sixteen or so, which suggests he made at least one more if I was also one.”

Gomez nodded. “You could have been a mistake?”

Harry frowned. “I probably was. Who’d want to put a soul piece in a  _ person _ ?” He shook his head at the idiocy of that. “But the more important part is that we  _ know _ he isn’t haunting us. He’s lost his body but he’s still alive. He’s trying to find a corporeal form.”

“The unicorns and the stone,” Gomez said tightly. Harry nodded. “Well,” Gomez said at length. He smiled proudly at his son. “Looks like you’ll have to kill him a little harder next time.”

Harry rolled his eyes as he huffed. “I’ve already done it twice -- three if you count as a baby -- and I only set out to do it once. At this point, I think I might just let Wednesday at him.”

Gomez threw his head back as he laughed. “Oh, please do! She’ll enjoy the challenge.” He clapped Harry on the back again as they continued their walk.

\/

Hermione turned to Harry from her position beside him in the blanket fort they’d built. Pugsley was snoring softly at their feet and Wednesday had begged off to sleep in a real bed.

“I really like your family, Harry,” Hermione whispered happily.

Harry grinned. “Thanks, I’m glad.” He shifted on the bedrolls that made up the floor of their blanket fort. “You can come back any time -- every summer, if you like.”

Hermione’s eyes widened. “Really?” she whispered.

He shrugged. “As long as your parents don’t mind?”

“They won’t,” she quickly agreed. Her mouth twisted as her eyes dropped. “They were quite pleased that Hogwarts was a boarding school.”

“Do they not like that you’re a witch?”

“No,” she shook her head, “that’s not it. They’re just very busy and don’t have much time for me. It’s easier if I’m busy with school.”

Harry decided not to mention how sad that sounded to him. He didn’t think Hermione would appreciate it. “Well, my parents love you and I think Grandmama might kidnap you.” She laughed quietly at that. “You’re always welcome with me, Hermione.” 

Her cheeks turned pink. “Thanks, Harry.”

\/

Looking back on it, it was probably in Sirius’ benefit that Uncle Fester was the one that caught him on the property rather than Lurch or -- Merlin forbid -- Wednesday. Learning that he not only had a godfather, but one that had innocently sat in prison for so long was sobering. There were people out there that were still affected by the events of the last Wizarding War. 

Sirius was put into the wart covered hands of Grandmama Addams who had whistled loudly at the sight of him. She had a bit of a crush on the tattoo-covered wizard -- despite his bedraggled form or possibly  _ because _ of it. It was hard to tell.

Hermione and Wednesday were working on a political plan that they wanted to launch that would have the British Ministry on their knees within a year. They sequestered themselves for days while working on it. Harry spent that time getting to know his godfather and learning about his late parents. 

A letter was sent out to another friend of Sirius’ and not long later, a werewolf came knocking. Peter Pettigrew was captured by the Internation Confederation of Wizards and Sirius’ name was cleared. Despite all this, Voldemort still returned at the end of fourth year.

Peter escaped the ICW. Harry was entered into the Tri-Wizard tournament. He slew the dragon first and was promptly informed he wasn’t supposed to kill it. Harry had shrugged and said, “Don’t put me in a stadium with a dangerous creature and not expect me to kill it.” 

Harry asked Hermione to attend the Yule Ball with him. She came down the steps in a beautiful periwinkle gown with her curls piled on her head and a smile on her face. She looked like a faerie. Harry couldn’t stop staring at her. He waltzed her around the Great Hall and thrived off of every tinkling laugh that sprang from her mouth. She was so perfect. Harry wondered if he looked as lovesick as his father did whenever he was in his mother’s presence. It was a scintillating thought. 

Then Hermione was put at the bottom of Black Lake. Morticia released a powerful wave of magic that pushed the entire lake it a large swirling ball of water, revealing the mermaid’s village and the kidnapped students. Hermione and the others were quickly brought to safety and Gomez cheerfully threatened Dumbledore at sword point. 

The maze had been easy. He made it to the cup and grabbed hold. The resurrection ritual and ensuing duel had been less fun than traipsing through a dark maze filled with hungry monsters -- which actually had been a blast for the young wizard. Harry had only just managed to get away from Voldemort and grab the portkey back to Hogwarts.

The stands erupted into applause. 

Harry collapsed to the ground. Hermione and his mother reached him first. He was transported to the Hospital Wing where Madam Pomfrey was pushed out of the way so Grandmama Addams could do her job. While he was being treated, Mad-Eye Moody was killed in his office. 

Apparently, the traps that Harry had been setting up for the old man had finally gotten him. 

“Do you mean to tell me, Mr. Potter,” Albus questioned, “that you killed Professor Moody without knowing that he was in fact, Barty Crouch Jr.?”

Harry shrugged from his seat in the Hospital Wing. “I didn’t try to kill him. He kept going on about ‘constant vigilance’ all year, I figured I ought to test that. I didn’t realize that wizards were so susceptible to piranhas and electricity. Bit of a disappointment, really.” He turned to his sister. “I suppose he wasn’t very vigilant after all.” 

Wednesday smirked. He knew she was just happy because this meant Voldemort was back. She was really looking forward to killing the old bastard. And she did.

Once it became apparent that Voldemort was pushing Harry to go to the Department of Mysteries in their fifth year, Wednesday left America and portkeyed to England. She set up traps galore across the entire Department of Mysteries -- first warning Head Unspeakable Spratt of her plans. The man had wisely given the entire department vacation while Wednesday got to work. 

Voldemort died in a haze of fire and confusion as a girl -- barely a woman yet, completely slaughtered his Death Eaters. Tom Riddle didn’t stand a chance. 

\/

“So, what’re you going to do now?” Hermione asked as she sat down beside him outside of the Great Hall. They were seventh years now and Voldemort had not risen again. He and his father had tracked down the remaining Horcruxes and made sure of that. 

Harry looked up at her and smirked. She looked pretty in her little graduation cap and gown. She wore a bright blue graduation stole like his own. Hers had a gold outline along the edge of the silk fabric, signifying her place as Valedictorian. Her dark curls spiraled out from beneath her black cap. Her tanned and freckled face glowed with happiness and pride.

“Father wants me to go back to America with them.”

Hermione’s eyes widened and her smile fell. “Oh.” She looked away. “I suppose I thought you’d stay? I mean,” she pushed her curls behind her ear, “Wednesday lives here now.”

Harry huffed a laugh. “Yeah, because she refuses to leave your side. Especially with that evil little plan you’ve got in place.”

Hermione pursed her lips at him. “It’s not  _ evil _ .”

“It is, a bit.” He pinched his fingers together to indicate how evil he thought it was. 

Hermione pushed his hand back down. “I  _ meant _ , now that it’s all finally over. What do you want to do? Where do you want to go?”

“Honestly?” She nodded. “I want a house and family just like the one I grew up in. I want a silly job and smart kids and batty relatives. I want to be as happy as my parents have always wished me to be. Father wants that to happen in America, but I have doubts about that.”

Hermione’s smile widened excitedly at his last sentence. “That sounds lovely. I’m sure your father approves, regardless of your indecision about Britain.”

Harry raised his eyebrows and released a long breath. “Yeah, well, only if I take the correct first step.”

“What’s the first step?”

“Picking the perfect somebody.” Harry looked up at Hermione again and smiled charmingly. “My dad says the perfect way to get a witch is to raise an eyebrow, give a smile, and throw a live wolverine at her.” Hermione laughed. “Padfoot says my birth dad did it a little differently.”

“How’d he do it?”

Harry pulled a black box from his pocket and opened it to reveal a massive diamond. He set it on the bench between them. “How about it, Granger?” he recited almost the same words his birth father had once said on that same bench. “Fancy being my wife?”

Hermione stared at the ring silently. She blinked once. Twice.

Without a word, Hermione picked up the ring and slipped it on. “Suppose so, yeah.”

Harry grinned. He leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to her lips.

After graduation, they got married in the cemetery at Godric’s Hollow by Harry’s parents’ tombstone. They rebuilt his birth parent’s home and lived there together. Hermione and Wednesday’s plans for the British Ministry single-handedly stopped any more pure-blood bigotry infecting the laws. Wednesday became the British Minister of Magic and no one dared point out that she wasn’t British by birth. Hermione was her second in command and Pugsley remained their lab rat. Harry went on to be a potioneer like his birth grandfather and his adopted grandmother. 

A week following their graduation, Lucius Malfoy mysteriously died after kicking his house-elf.

The End

**Author's Note:**

> I entirely blame Harmony & Co. for this one-shot. I did not have any intentions of even writing today and then THIS happened. So... yeah. Hope you enjoyed it! xx


End file.
